Author Archives: prettyprettybaby

About prettyprettybaby

Admit it. Babies are ugly. But don't be embarrassed about your baby. I have a wealth of knowledge that can help make your baby as beautiful as possible. It takes work and dedication, but you too can have a Pretty Pretty Baby. I'm a mother and an Infant Stylist, and can share some special gems to make your child stand out from the rest.

Face it: Your Baby’s Skin Sucks

Face it: baby acne is ugly. Your poor little one is suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous face care. And you need to fix it, stat. Can you imagine how she feels when all the other babies are cooing … Continue reading

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Baby Love: Finding the Perfect Someone for Your Little One

Single babies are ugly. Is your little one sitting at home alone on a Friday night? Is she having a hard time connecting with that special someone during playdates? Nobody to share a binky with? It’s an easy solution.

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Toughen Up, Baby

Wussy babies are ugly. Thankfully, Johnson and Johnson are here to help. They have just released Nothing But Tears Baby Shampoo, clinically proven to produce “noticably thicker skin” . Finally, your pansy-ass sissy newborn can take a nice warm bath of … Continue reading

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Fetal Flash Cards

Dumb babies are ugly. You can get a leg up on their education from the very beginning. Play Mozart, read Nietzsche aloud, practice rhythmic gymnastics. Just like every other podunk backwoods mouth-breathing mother out there. If you really want a … Continue reading

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Being the Most Super Ultra Soundiest

Ultrasound babies are ugly. Show your grainy pictures to friends and family, and look at the fake grins on their faces. The compliments aren’t real. The congratulations are false. They see a grainy black and white image of a blob … Continue reading

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Your Baby Pales in Comparison

Pale babies are ugly. But we know that UV exposure can age their skin too early, so what to do? Baby spray tan! Not only can you easily give your baby that sun-kissed glow, but you also have the option … Continue reading

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Losing the Baby Fat for Fat Babies: Part 2

We’ve already established it: fat babies are ugly. So when exercise fails to perfect your infant’s physique, what to do? Put her on a diet! When breastfeeding, you can keep your baby’s diet low-fat by only eating low-fat foods, but … Continue reading

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