Dumb babies are ugly.
You can get a leg up on their education from the very beginning. Play Mozart, read Nietzsche aloud, practice rhythmic gymnastics. Just like every other podunk backwoods mouth-breathing mother out there. If you really want a smart baby, get started with fetal flash cards.
It’s easy. By Week 33, babies can see shapes from within the womb. So, enterprising mamas, upon conception, you should:
- Borrow a projector from your local library (it’s free).
- Write the alphabet, draw shapes, draw the Mona Lisa on transparencies.
- Aim toward uterus.
- Grow baby brain.
Your gorgeous little one will know her A-B-C’s before she knows how to P-P.