Monthly Archives: February 2012

Fetal Flash Cards

Dumb babies are ugly. You can get a leg up on their education from the very beginning. Play Mozart, read Nietzsche aloud, practice rhythmic gymnastics. Just like every other podunk backwoods mouth-breathing mother out there. If you really want a … Continue reading

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Being the Most Super Ultra Soundiest

Ultrasound babies are ugly. Show your grainy pictures to friends and family, and look at the fake grins on their faces. The compliments aren’t real. The congratulations are false. They see a grainy black and white image of a blob … Continue reading

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